My mouth tastes like blood. I nearly pass out multiple times. For some, this would be an ideal reason to quit, and to stick to what they're good at. But for me, the shock at my bodily deterioration reaffirms my determination to reorganize and reallocate my time and energy to fortify my weakened frame. I will admit to over ambition at this starting line. I tried to pick up at pursuing a what in my prime I would consider easy, a simple ride up a hill, a ride which I could have devoured for breakfast at the top of my game. Legs ached and throat was dry and so I even turned for a more modest slope. But soon my throat cried for drink and I let gravity pull me back to level ground. Before I could reach a source of water to quiet my pleading gullet, my vision began to darken, the adrenaline was retreating and an oxygen deprived haze settled on my mind. I tried to sit at the street light corner but the light to cross said walk, and so I did. I found a place where to tie my bike, and sat to clear my head. The shadow on my mind departed and a blinding light moved in its place. This is not defeat, but a vision of truth, a clear view of my current state to break my unrealistic expectations. Blinded, breathless, shaking, I stumble towards the doors, I stumble towards recovery.
Yep it is time for me to start exercising regularly again. It's time to do spring cleaning on my life. Over the past week, the online job hunt hasn't gone so well. I did get contacted back for a job that it turns out I was really in no way qualified for. Unfortunately that was just a method of filtering to make sure that I was an actual human and not a robot submitting resumes. They didn't really want a phone interview as their initial (robot sent) email indicated. I also saw a short youtube video this week about the economic situation in manhattan kansas. In the video they mentioned an engineer that has been unsuccessfully searching for a job for eleven months. I understand that this individual faces his own particular set of issues when looking for a job, like the bogus "Overqualified" problem, and probably the lack of demand specifically for nuclear engineers in the area, but if he can't get a job, where does that leave me, especially when it comes to trying to find a job online? I'll keep looking and trying to submit resume's but I have a feeling that not much is going to happen till I actually can walk to the places of employment and meet people face to face. There is so much screwed up with this economy. Don't get me started.