I went and finally did it. I used the resources at my disposal to finally purchase for myself a laptop. And not just any laptop, a screaming fire breathing dragon of a laptop (by standards which are two years old). What an incredible distraction.
I also started on at a job this week. The job has remained roughly the same but my perception of it has rapidly changed over the last few days. Ive never really done data entry before. The one saving grace about the job is that it pays well. With as much as I am getting paid I could pay my way through all my undergraduate schooling with about 4 or 5 months work. (given that I don't squander the amount I already have saved up, live at home, and continue to use my parents car, which may not work out) it is hard, but I will make a living.
So back to computers. I now have the laptop, but I still need a copy of office so that I can start writing again. While I am at this loss, I don't really feel the urgency to go find the software. My Dad said he would help me out with that. All at the same time I have to keep myself from dithering away all my time playing video games. I have to use the computer as a tool to do what needs to be done not just what I want to do. It has been tremendously comforting to be working on my own computer and to not feel as if I am intruding on someone else's turf.
There always has been that duality about pleasurable things, they are pleasurable but terribly distracting from necessary things if you let them be. Good and evil. Opposition in all things.. gah..