12 June 2009

The continuing struggle

It seems I had a premature start on taking over my life. Am I doomed to do this over and over again. Am I doomed to desire controll over my life and then never seem to attain it.

We went on a family reunion last week. I decided I would download a few games for the six hour trip we were about to take. I ended up playing the games for much of my spare time while I was there. Then when we finally got back, I was so physically drained that I would rather sit and play Halo than do anything else. Consequentally I played Halo for the better part of this last week, at least, whenever I was not doing homework.

Of course here goes my over active ADHD brain again questioning everything. It asks wither or not I already have supposed controll over my life, it begs to wonder wither or not I am chasing after something unatainable. I hate when my brain second guesses itself all the time. Reguardless, wether or not it is a fruitless attempt to "take controll of my life" the goal of doing so and fulfilling the vision of my life is something that can give me more focus in my life. So I must try.

I guess the controll of my life would be measured by my capacity to live rules that I set for myself such as doing all my homework on time, or going to bed at a certain hour and waking up at a good time, or journaling regularly. This idea of setting a code of conduct for one self and living up to that code is something that I, and I am sure others, seem to miss to some degree.

So I will be going to bed on time now. That is step two.

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