26 March 2009

Not going to settle

The last few days have felt rather unproductive. It is all my fault. I sat down and I played video games... Gosh darnit..

Many people in the world would undoubtedly stare at me for a moment then laugh at my attitude. But I am serious. I have so many dreams and desires, and the least of those desires, yet easiest to achieve, is to sit and get a high score on some flashing screen. It boggles my mind to see how much I have changed in the last three weeks. And not necessarily for the better. I'm letting priorities slip. I am letting my needed physical upkeep get swept aside. I am not drinking enough water, and am suffering headaches. I haven't been working out like I should, and so I am loosing muscle mass/weight, which for me being the skinny 5’ 5” 125 lb that I am, is not a good thing.

When you are on a full time Mission for the church, you don’t have so many things to distract you from the necessary. All of the sudden you have tons and tons of time to just think. Now I am so accustomed to having think time that I don’t know what to do with all the distractions. I want to enjoy them. But then I know that if I do, I might just push the limits and enjoy them too much and lose the self control that I have enjoyed for the last 2 years.

Life is a frustrating journey. But one that is well worth it.


  1. I hear ya. Man...it seems like you need to start writing again. But then again nanowrimo is too far away that is if u are up to the challenge again.

  2. I'm always up for the challange of a Nano Wrimo. I've got too many ideas stuck in my head as it is.